Being a Man of Loyalty: A Manly Way to Love Jesus
By Fr. Philip Merdinger
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It isn’t always easy for a man to have feelings of love for Jesus Christ. Even though the word “love” can mean so many different things and is routinely applied to objects, experiences, animals, people, and even God himself, it can seem awkward for some men to “love” Jesus personally. Even when we declare, “I love my country,” as so many men are professing these days, it often isn’t the one-on-one emotion of love that we feel for wives, children, parents, or dearest friends.

The feelings of “family love” are conjugal, parental, and bonded in blood and kinship. They are feelings that can stir the heart of a man to make heroic sacrifices and endure great hardships. Sometimes it can seem somewhat artificial for a man to profess these feelings for the Lord. Yet, we are called to love Jesus not only in a formal and duty-bound way but also with everything we possess. How can we do that?

I suggest that loyalty is a way into a warm and masculine love for Jesus. I don’t mean loyalty oaths or appeals to loyalty from the outside. I’m referring to a deep, personal motivation from the inside—an inwardly inspired affection and commitment. Let me offer you some examples from Scripture and secular life.

The Loyalty of Caleb. My favorite account of loyalty in the Old Testament comes from the life of Caleb. He was a Hebrew scout sent by Moses to reconnoiter the Promised Land. When God’s people had been freed from bondage in Egypt, they escaped into the desert. They were there only a short time—perhaps only a matter of months—when they found themselves at the borders of a land that God had promised would be theirs.

The Lord instructed Moses: “Send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites” (Numbers 13:1). Moses chose twelve scouts and dispatched them to investigate the land, the inhabitants, and the fortified towns. When they returned, their report was sharply divided: ten against two. The majority urged Moses to abandon any attempts to take the land. “The inhabitants are giants,” they warned.

However, two scouts, Caleb and Joshua, the successor to Moses, stated just the opposite: “If the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey. . . Their protection is removed from them, and the Lord is with us; do not fear them" (Numbers 14:8-9).

You know the rest of that story: forty years of wandering—one year for each day the scouts had been in the land of Canaan. Years later when the people finally entered the land, Caleb remembered: My companions who went up with me made the heart of the people melt; yet I wholeheartedly followed the Lord my God (Joshua 14:8).

Centuries after the event, Caleb was honored in the Book of Sirach: The Lord gave Caleb strength, which remained with him in his old age, so that he went up to the hill country, and his children obtained it for an inheritance, so that all the Israelites might see how good it is to follow the Lord (46:9-10).

The Loyalty of Eleazar. The Second Book of Maccabees offers another example of loyalty. Oppressed by pagan conquerors, the Jews were summoned to deny the truth of their religion by violating holy laws. One old man named Eleazar, although threatened with torture and death, refused to recant.

Here’s how the author described his refusal: But he made up his mind in a noble manner, worthy of his years, the dignity of his advanced age . . . and so he declared that above all he would be loyal to the holy laws given by God: ‘I will leave to the young a noble example of how to die willingly and generously for the revered and holy laws (2 Maccabees 6:23,28, NAB).

The Loyalty of Jesus. Jesus is the supreme model of loyalty. His loyalty to his Father was constant, intimate, and personal. That personal loyalty also meant loyalty to the Father’s plan for our redemption, a loyalty pursued until he had nothing more to give. One of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once blood and water came out (John 19:34).

During Jesus’ public life, he spoke repeatedly about his relationship to his Father in terms of loyalty: I do nothing on my own, but I speak these things as the Father instructed me. And the one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what is pleasing to him (John 8:28-29). Much of what Jesus said about himself and his Father reflected the mutual loyalty between them.

The Loyalty of Fr. Capodanno. A contemporary example of loyalty is Fr. Vincent Capodanno, a Maryknoll priest who gave his life while in service to the Marines in Vietnam in l967. According to one account, Fr. Vincent’s chopper had to land in the middle of the battlefield. First, part of the priest’s hand was shot off. “Most guys would stop with one wound,” remembers a fellow Marine. “He kept going. He was willing to risk his life to save ours.”

Fr. Capodanno received the wound that killed him as he administered the Sacrament of the Sick to a stricken soldier. A fellow Marine wished that he could have taken the bullet for Fr. Vincent, but he noted, “I would have to stand in line for the chance, because so many guys would have done the same thing.” During the tragedy of September 11, 2001, how many men bravely faced death in order to be loyal to their responsibilities!

An Unwavering Attachment. What makes this kind of loyalty something that takes possession of a man’s heart and fires the passions deep within him? It is a loyalty that touches the very foundation of the masculine spirit. Women and men alike are profoundly moved by loyalty but each in a way properly his or her own.

I believe that many men want to express their power to love in a way that commits all their resources to something or someone outside themselves, to be part of a cause that’s noble and demanding. It’s a love that wants to build a world. Even if that world is a modest one, it somehow expresses for them the larger picture, the greater truth, and the final victory.

What anchors that love is loyalty, a determined, unswerving attachment to something or someone—and in the end, it is usually someone. Even when a man is angry or turns the air blue with his language, he is moved by a deep attachment that binds him, willingly, even to death.

Jesus is the Loyal One! He himself is that larger picture, that greater truth, that final victory. His loyalty to us was demonstrated on earth’s battlefield. He gave up his life here, not just so that we would be consoled and comforted in our last moments but so that we might never taste death at all!

Jesus did not merely scout the Promised Land; he conquered it for us on his own. He refused to eat the rotten food of compromise with evil, not merely to leave us an example but also to empower us to observe all the holy laws of God. How much more than all the others does he deserve our loyalty!

Will we give our loyalty to him? Will we allow our hearts to be captured with passion and commitment? From the examples of many holy men, I can say with confidence that when we do give our loyalty to Jesus Christ—even a little—a bond is created between us that is so close and so personal that we find ourselves with an abiding affection and a total commitment to his way, his mind, his purposes, and his very self.

That loyalty ultimately empowers us to fulfill our responsibilities and sustains us in moments of weakness. That loyalty will rebuild our strength, fill us with joy, and carry us forward until, in him and with him, we attain to the final victory.

Fr. Philip Merdinger is the founder of the Brotherhood of Hope, a religious community-in-formation of brothers and priests in the Archdiocese of Boston. He also serves on the Board of Trustees of the National Resource Center for Catholic Men.

Questions for Reflection/Discussion

1. Why do you think it is awkward for some men to love Jesus personally? Why does it seem to be easier for women?

2. In what ways do you think the loyalty of Caleb, “I wholeheartedly followed the Lord my God” (Joshua 14:8), and Eleazar, “and so he declared that above all he would be loyal to the holy laws given by God” (2 Maccabees 6:23), reflected their great love for God?

3. Why is Jesus the “model of loyalty”? How did his words and actions demonstrate his loyalty to his heavenly Father?

4. What do you think motivated Fr. Capodanno to keep on ministering to the marines even after part of his hand was shot off? Why do you think so many of the marines would have stood in line to take the bullet for Fr. Cappodanno?

5. In what ways you agree or disagree with the following quotations from the article?

”I believe that many men want to express their power to love in a way that commits all their resources to something or someone outside themselves, to be part of a cause that’s noble and demanding.”

“I can say with confidence that when we do give our loyalty to Jesus Christ—even a little—a bond is created between us that is so close and so personal that we find ourselves with an abiding affection and a total commitment to his way, his mind, his purposes, and his very self.”

“That loyalty ultimately empowers us to fulfill our responsibilities and sustains us in moments of weakness. That loyalty will rebuild our strength, fill us with joy, and carry us forward until, in him and with him, we attain to the final victory!”

6. In your prayers together at the end of the meeting, pray for one another, especially that each of you will give your wholehearted loyalty to Jesus, and allow your hearts “to be captured with passion and commitment” to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Note: The following articles and features also appeared in the Catholic Men's E-Zine for July-August 2002. Click here to register on the National Resource Center for Catholic Men website to receive free access to them all.

Section 1:Being a Man of Loyalty

• A Testimonial: You Do Not See What I See, by Joseph Difato
  
• From the Scriptures: Two Counterexamples of Men of Loyalty: Job and His Friends

Section 2: Special Features

• Men’s Group Tip: Attitudes and Actions Contributing to a Successful Men’s Group
  
• Children’s Parable: The Family Cruise (Read this to your kids or grandkids)
  
• Humor The Catholic Dog, Cold Stuff, and Arthritis

Section 3: Sunday Mass Readings and Meditations for July-August 2002 (with Discussion Questions for Men.)