Being a Man of Prayer
By Maurice Blumberg
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We have all heard the expression, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” Perhaps another way to say this is, “When we think we’re in trouble or danger, we pray.” Praying does seem to come naturally when we are in a crisis or someone we love is sick, or we are sick, etc. But we have to ask ourselves: are these the only times or reasons we should pray? When we take an honest look at ourselves, no matter how successful we may be in the world’s eyes, we know that we are weak in some areas and strong in other areas. We especially know how weak we are when we fight spiritual (and non-spiritual) battles if we are not praying, and how strong we are in the Lord when we are praying. A man of prayer is someone who recognizes his dependence on the Lord and seeks the Lord in prayer every day.

The idea of being a “man of prayer” can be quite daunting to many of us. It can convey the image of monks in monasteries praying for 3-4 hours at a time every day or great saints like St. Francis who seemed to be praying all the time. Besides, we can all think of lots of reasons why it is so hard to pray (especially every day), e.g., I’m too busy, I’m too tired in the morning, I don’t know how, why do I need to pray when God knows my needs already.

But let’s consider now what can happen to each of us when we pray. I believe that as we comprehend deep within our spirit the great work that God wants to do in each of our lives when we pray, it will motivate us to want to be “men of prayer.” Below are 10 things that God the Father, Jesus his Son, and the Holy Spirit can do in each of our lives when we pray.

1. When we pray, God wants to touch us and form us into men of God men after his heart. Our heavenly Father longs to spend time with us his sons. He desires to give us the gifts we need for our day such as gifts of wisdom, knowledge, and discernment (see Matthew 7:11).
   
   
2. When we pray, God wants to fill us with his divine love. He wants to draw us closer to him, increase our knowledge of him, and increase our experience of his great love for us. As this happens (it often takes place over time), the hardness in our hearts will melt, and we will be transformed more and more into the image and likeness of Jesus. Our confidence in God’s love for us and others will grow. We will become more willing to do the will of God.
   
   
3. When we pray, God places in our hearts a passion for Jesus and more compassion for others. We then begin to think and act more like Jesus.
   
   
4. When we pray, our loving Father wants to reveal our need for him – that we are lost without him. All of us are sinners and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). In prayer he wants us to experience his forgiveness and know that he doesn’t want to condemn us but wants us to know and experience his forgiveness, mercy, and compassion.
   
   
5. When we pray, we can better understand (and do) God’s will for our lives. We are better prepared to handle the temptations, crises, battles, etc., that may or will occur during the day – they can be spiritual (yes, even from the Devil) or human battles. We receive wisdom and strength and encouragement from the Lord so we don’t become angry or frustrated when crises or battles arise, nor do we retreat from them to diversions such as food, sleep, or entertainment.
   
   
6. When we pray, the Lord gives us the courage and the trust to rely on his strength and power, which is unlimited, rather than just relying on our own human strength and power, which has its limits. Our sense of self-sufficiency can create a great barrier between God and us. Men who don’t know their need for God will rely on the philosophies of the world, especially its emphasis on independence and self-centeredness. Conversely, those who know their need look to the Lord to guide them and will humbly submit to his will for their lives. Surprisingly, seeing our great need for God is not a source of discouragement but the basis of an improved sense of our worth.
   
   
7. When we pray, God wants to free us from patterns of sin, deep inner wounds, or resentments. Jesus wants to help us recognize that only he can heal our sickness of soul. Only he can set us free.
   
   
8. When we pray, God gives us the courage and perseverance to press on no matter what the circumstances of our lives are. It may be hard for us to do as men, but it is a blessing to rush to Jesus and tell him of our needs, fears, and problems, as well as our gratitude and joy for what he did for us through his cross and resurrection.
   
   
9. When we pray, we can experience his protection and power. This occurs, not because we are doing everything right, but because we are giving up control of our life to our loving Father.
   
   
10. When we pray, God gives us the desires and the strength to be obedient to him, relying on the power of his Spirit. It is through this obedience that we experience true freedom and victory in our lives.

I know that trying to get your arms around a list of 10 different things is a lot. But let me suggest you use this list in one of your times of prayer. Ask the Lord to show you what he wants to personally do in your life. How he wants to touch you. I believe that as we spend more time in Jesus’ presence and open our hearts to him, we will experience his great love for us, our hearts will be melted, and he will transform us into his image and likeness.

Growing as a Man of Prayer. Developing the habits of consistent (and daily) prayer may seem hard at first and you may find yourself not always accomplishing your prayer goals. Don’t get discouraged; don’t get down on yourself. Keep persevering. It takes time to develop new habits. In the article “A Daily Plan for Being A Man of Prayer Each Day” that is part of this e-zine, some simple suggestions are provided for being a man of prayer every day. Also, another article in this issue, “Sitting with Jesus in Prayer,” provides a simple guide that you can use in a daily prayer time.

As we begin to experience growth in our prayer life, most of us will be awe-struck that we can speak to the Lord and know that he hears and answers our prayers. When we first discover this, our tendency may be to do a lot of talking and asking. In effect, we say, “Listen, Lord, your servant is speaking,” rather than what the prophet Samuel said to the Lord when he first heard his voice, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:9).

At the transfiguration as described in the Gospel of Matthew, a cloud came upon Jesus and his disciples, Peter, James, and John. The Father then says these words to the disciples, “This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased; listen to him” (Matthew17:5). As we grow in our prayer life (and as disciples), we will gradually come to a point where we spend less time speaking and more time listening. We let God set the agenda. We trust that he knows our needs, so we don’t keep telling him about them. Instead, we find joy simply from being in his presence; we feel awe and begin to worship him for who he is. We savor his words and ponder them in the depth of our hearts. We let him change us rather than try to get him to change our circumstances.

Conclusion. In Mark 6:56, we hear these words about Jesus: And wherever he went--into villages, towns or countryside--they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the hem of his garment, and all who touched him were healed.
If just touching the hem of Jesus' garment can make people well, imagine how much more Jesus can do in our lives through prayer, as we open ourselves to his presence and allow him to touch us in a personal way. Jesus wants to make each one of us whole in body, soul, and spirit. For this to happen (at least for me anyway), we need to slow down from all the busyness and worldly distractions (and attractions). When we spend time in prayer, we allow him to be present, to touch us, to love us, and to have his way in our lives. The cry of my heart is: "I want to be whole; I want to be holy," not so much for my own benefit, but so others can see Jesus in me and be drawn to him. I know I can't give away what I don't have to give (e.g., Jesus’ love). None of us can. If we are to be transformed, we must allow Jesus to touch us through prayer, as well as Scripture, the Eucharist, and the Sacraments of the Church.

What does it mean to be men of prayer? It means we are men who are willing to open our hearts to Jesus and spend time in his presence in prayer. It means we are experiencing his great love for us, and we are letting him transform us into his image and likeness.

Dear Lord, I desire to be a man of prayer, yet it is a great struggle for me. I know that apart from you it is impossible. In your great love and compassion, draw me closer to you and transform me into that man of prayer you have called me to be. Heal me, teach me, and remove any obstacles that would keep me from spending time with you in prayer. Amen.

Questions for Reflection/Discussion

1. Share with the other men in your group the state of your prayer life and the obstacles to praying you find in your life.

2. Of the 10 things listed in the article that God the Father, Jesus his Son, and the Holy Spirit can do in your life, which two or three stand out as something the Lord wants to do in your life. Explain why?

3. In what ways can you relate to point no. 5? Are food, sleep, or entertainment sources of escape for you when you are frustrated or in the midst of a difficult conflict? Share some examples from your life when prayer made a difference in how you handled a difficult circumstance.

4. What does the phrase “listening to Jesus in your prayer” mean to you? Is this easy or hard for you to do and why?

5. What is your definition of a man of prayer? In which aspects of this definition are you doing fairly well and in which aspects do you still need further growth?

6. All men are in need of healing or prayer of some kind. What areas of healing, or other areas of your life, would you like the men in your group to pray for? Consider saying the prayer at the end of the “Being a Man of Prayer” article each day (or as often as you can) and share the fruits of that prayer at the next men’s group meeting.

Note: The following articles and features also appeared in the Catholic Men's E-Zine for March-April 2002. Click here to register on the National Resource Center for Catholic Men website to receive free access to them all.

Section 1:Being a Man After God's Heart

• Testimonial on Prayer by Fr. Mark: I Miss You
  
• From the Scriptures: Saul, Israel’s First King – He Failed to Recognize His Need For God
  
• A Daily Plan for Being a Man of Prayer

Section 2: Special Features

• Men’s Group Tip: Defining Your Group’s Purpose and Goals
  
• Sitting with Jesus in Prayer: A Simple Guide to A Daily Prayer Time
  
• Children’s Parable: Our Heavenly Father at the Window (Read this to your kids or grandkids)
  
• Humor: Fr. Michael And His Scripture

Section 3: Sunday Mass Readings and Meditations for March-April 2002 (with Discussion Questions for Men)