Getting Your Teenager "Hooked" on Mass
Transforming Sunday morning resistance into excitement
By Debra Tomaselli

It's Sunday morning, and your teen is fast asleep. The last thing he wants to do is get up for Mass. It's boring, he complains, and he doesn't see why he should be forced to go.

If you're facing resistance from your teen about attending Mass, you're not alone. Adolescents moving toward adulthood often begin to question many of the values that parents hold most dear. While our children are still living at home, we can require them to accompany us to Mass every Sunday. However, once they're on their own, the decision to attend Mass will be theirs alone. Is there anything parents can do to help their kids look forward to celebrating the Eucharist?

With three children on the threshold of spreading their own wings, my husband and I have thought long and hard about how to meet that challenge. Even after they have become young adults, we want our daughters to continue to grow in their faith. We realized that we needed to connect the Eucharistic celebration to their daily lives. Their faith had to mean more to them than a mere ritual.
Of course, we can't force our teens to love going to Mass. However, some of the suggestions that follow may help to spark your child's interest, hunger, and appreciation for the Eucharist:

• Emphasize the presence of Jesus at Mass. Our teens need to understand that the first and most compelling reason we attend Mass is because Jesus is present in the Eucharist. We cannot find this anywhere else; it is a reality that is unequaled. Something holy and special is happening, and even young children seem to have an awareness of the sacred in a place of worship.
  
  
• Understand what's happening. Although I attended Catholic schools, I was well into my adult years before I really took the time to understand the Mass and what it meant to me personally. After that, I never wanted to be late and miss the prayers of forgiveness offered at the beginning of each Mass! The Eucharistic celebration is the perfect prayer. Being aware of what happens-and why-enhances the experience for us as well as for our teens.
  
  
• Discuss the Mass readings and the homily. Try to set aside a special time with your teens to review Sunday's readings in advance. This will create a more meaningful understanding when they hear it again from the pew. Be sure to express your interest in their views. In addition, talk about the priest's homily. Did they understand the points the priest was making? Ask your kids: "What's the one thing from Mass that our family should carry with us throughout the week?"
  
  
• Encourage church-related friendships. Teens are very social by nature, so it's always a motivation to attend Mass when they know they will find their friends there. Perhaps you could suggest that your child invite a friend to attend Mass with him. Many churches offer a youth ministry program. Encourage your teen to participate.
  
  
• Ask your parish to implement a teen program. Tina Stafstrom, the youth minister at the Church of the Annunciation in Altamonte Springs, Florida, has impressive statistics about the involvement of her parish's high school population. She helped implement LIFE TEEN at their church nine years ago, and during that time, teen attendance at Mass has doubled, with 75 percent of the teens participating in the after-Mass programs. The goal of specially designed teen programs like LIFE TEEN is to create opportunities that make faith personal and relevant. That's important for the growth of our own faith as well as our kids'.
  
  
• Don't sweat the clothing. Choose your battles wisely. While respectful clothing is important, remember that it's not the main issue. Parents can reduce conflicts regarding attire by agreeing in advance on what's appropriate. Clothes are very important to teens, and they must like what they are wearing. If we can get past the issue of clothing, we can focus on the important reasons why we attend Mass.
  
  
• Develop family traditions around Mass. Another way to enhance the experience is to form an after-Mass custom. When I was a child, my parents always allowed us to visit the candy store on the way home from church. I still recall the thrill of being able to choose any candy bar! Some families bring home donuts or dine at their favorite restaurant after church on Sundays.
  
  
• Pray together as a family. Don't be afraid to pray with each other and for each other. Pray often. Pray for healing when someone in the family is ill. Intercede for the needs of family members and friends. Pray especially about difficult decisions that you or your kids may need to make.
  
  
• Remember that we are leading the way. Our actions and attitudes speak volumes to our teens. How do we really feel about Mass attendance? Is it just fulfilling another obligation in our life, or is it rich in meaning and purpose? Does the message of God's love and forgiveness come alive for us in a way that enables us to live these values within the walls of our homes? Let your teens witness the meaning of the celebration of the Eucharist in your life. Share with them your excitement about what God is doing.
  
  
• Trust in God's plan. Even after all your efforts, your young adult may still abandon regular Mass attendance after leaving home. At this age, young people are striving for independence; this is a time for growing and making choices. They need to discover on their own the importance of the Mass. Pray, but don't worry. Your job is to lead your children to the font, but you can't make them drink.

Continue to exhibit the godly virtues that you are striving to live. Even if it's just for the sake of family unity and tradition, encourage your young adults to attend church with you when they're home. Many who leave the church as teens or young adults return, sometimes many years later, to develop a deep, strong, and abiding faith. Ul-timately, it's the Lord who moves the hearts of his people. Trust that you have done your job by providing the rich soil in which your child can grow. God will do the rest.

Debra Tomaselli and her husband have three children and live in Maitland, Florida.

LIFE TEEN International provides support and materials to parishes for their high school youth ministry. The goal of the program is to draw teens into a relationship with Jesus so that they can integrate their faith into every aspect of their lives. Following Catholic teachings, faith is introduced into the lives of the parish's teens in a variety of ways: through drama and discussion of the gospel message; by giving teens leadership roles in Mass; and through contemporary music, prayer groups, and social and community service programs designed specifically for their age group.

Youth minister Tina Stafstrom has seen plenty of evidence that the program is working at her parish: Kids ask for help to apply their faith in challenging situations; a group of teens attend weekday Mass on school holidays; and graduates return from college with stories of their involvement in campus ministry.